A new post

It's November 4th, 2007.

My thoughts today revolve around life and meaning. It's a topic I've struggled with for as long as I can remember even as a child. I'm a reserved person, perhaps, by nature. I have no friends to speak of nor do I really seek people out although I wish this were different. It's an oddity of sorts. Some days I feel depressed and this perplexes me somewhat. If there is no meaning to life thus I possess a certain freeness, why do I isolate myself so? Why do I have such a bleak outlook? I wish to change this, but I'm not certain how. When I am engaged in small talk with co-workers, it is exactly that. Small talk and I tend to get bored so easily of the conversation, or I become anxious. Seems there are so many things going on and I become confused. Am I scared of contact or closeness with others, or do I simply feel it's all a meaningless waste of time? I think too much, of that I am sure. I worry about that which I have no control. I also simply don't seem to care about so very much which concerns me to a degree. Other postings tend to have a theme. This one, I'm not certain.